Bullying is the deliberate and sustained act of aggression designed to create or reinforce an imbalance of power through intimidation. It is more than cruel, it insists upon subjugation.

“We all look for where we might fit in a group and then “peck” our way to our place in line.”

“The Pecking Order” unpacks the group interaction between bullies, victims, bystanders and advocates. This experience is one that does not end with childhood but continues into adulthood in neighborhoods, the work place, and on the politics of the world stage. In a larger sense, Bullying and the Power Continuum the micro stage of the school or neighborhood is a mirror of the macro stage in the world of diplomacy or war. It is here that young people learn the resiliency through social interaction and a portfolio of responses which they will later use as a full participating citizen.

This exhibit is based on the research of interviews conducted by students in an Arts and Ideas class at UNC Asheville led by Rebecca Williams and Jerry Pope. In addition, Elizabeth May of William Stanton College and Molly Siddall of UNC Asheville spent a summer researching and conducting additional interviews. This exhibit is also viewable online. Start a Conversation www.diversityed.org

What is the Pecking Order?

Six year old Thorleif Schjelderup-Ebbe of Norway became fascinated with chickens, so his mother bought him a flock to care for on his own. By age 10, Thorleif was keeping detailed notebooks about the chicken’s behavior which revealed his interest in far more than egg production. Through his observations over many years, he noticed which chickens were pecking and which were being pecked. Thorleif called these heirarchial peer groups A, B and C Triangles. He also especially noted the exceptions to the hierarchy. In 1922, he published a paper from his childhood fieldwork in German under the title of Hackordnung- The Pecking Order. Much has been learned from the observations of Thorleif. We humans are a part of the animal kingdom. He defined what humans know instinctively: we all look for where we might fit in a group and then “peck” our way to our place in line. This is especially true of youth who are making the first steps at figuring out “where do I belong?”

Etymology: Anglo Saxon from “bulgian,” to bellow like a bull.
Bully noun – A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people; a blustering menacer.

In every language and in every era, there is the name for this person or group of people, such as:

• Dutch – Intimideer
• German – Tyran
• Spanish – Abusano
• Russian – Samodur
• Japanese – Gakidaishou

Until the 2001 report by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, there was no national data on bullying. This study was done at the request of the World Health Organization and was added to data from other countries. In the United States, over 15,000 students in grades 6-10 from diverse public, private and parochial schools answered the questionnaire. Bullying was defined as physical, verbal or psychological behavior:

• That intends to harm or disturb
• That occurs repeatedly over time and
• That is based on an imbalance of power, with a more powerful group or individual attacking a less powerful group or individual

Though deeply hurtful, periodic teasing, making fun of someone, name calling, or fights between two people of similar power is on the continuum of group behavior but is not defined as bullying. That 2001 survey revealed the following data:

• 10% of students bullied others “sometime”
• 8.8% of students bullied others once a week or more
• 8.5% of students were victimized by bullies bullied “sometimes”
• 8.4% of students were victimized by bullies at least once a week
• Bullying occurs most frequently in middle school
• Males are both bullied and victimized with a significantly higher frequency than females, and the behavior is more physical
• Females were more frequently bullied by rumors, innuendo or sexual comments.

In other studies:

• There was peer involvement (as bystanders) in 85% of bullying episodes (Atlas and Pepler, 1998)
• 23% of students reported that teachers intervened when bullying occurred (Atlas and Pepler, 1998)
• 71% of teachers reported that teachers intervened when bullying occurred (Atlas and Pepler, 1998)
• Curriculum based only programs fall short as effective “evidenced based” initiatives (Olweus)
• Whole school programs that involve the principal, teachers, students and parents have a greatest evidenced based success (Olweus)

Where does the data come from?

Unlike the observational field work of young Thorlief, this data is collected in survey form. If you are a teacher, child, or parent in the public school system, you might be familiar with this once a year assessment tool. In a list of 50 true or false questions the reader is asked to rate how often bullying occurs. That data is collected and then used as a base line of whether particular schools and districts are doing better or worse as a “safe school environment” and what type of programs and trainings students and teachers need.

Four characters find their place on the Power Continuum: the bully who strikes fear and trembling in the person who is targeted (the victim), the people who watch the drama unfold without taking action (the bystanders), and in rare occasion, the brave soul (the advocate) who acts in word and deed to protect the target of the bully’s behavior.

Bullies

10% of students bullied others “sometime.” Males are bullied with a significantly higher frequency than females and the behavior is more physical.

Victims

8.4% of students were victimized by bullies at least once a week.
Bystanders
85% of students reported peer involvement in bullying episodes.
Advocates
23% of students reported that teachers intervened when bullying occurred.

“The Pecking Order” relies on local, eye-witness accounts to place the bully, as well as the victim, bystander and advocate, on the Power Continuum. Raising questions about the roles on that arc of power is part of The Center’s mission to create an equitable and inclusive community for all.

“I think [group behavior and bullying] is all about competition and advantage, and it can only end when people stop being greedy and don’t try to subjugate others …. For evolutionary reasons, survival is probably something that has served our species well up to a certain point. I think that what we call civilization is not civilized, and I think bullying really exemplifies that.”

Why Do We Pick On Our Peers?

A superficial answer might be “That person wears glasses, looks or talks different, and sticks out, so of course they are going to get picked on.” Some researchers wonder:

• Are we seeking status and dominance through peer relationships?
• Are we looking for the comfort of stability and knowing where we stand?
• Are we testing authority?
• Are we practicing empathy and moral imagination?

Where Do We Pick On Our Peers?

In the Oleweus Bully Prevention Program, students and teachers are asked to draw a map of their school and pinpoint where most of the group behavior of bullying takes place. Their drawings indicate “hot spots” that have decreased adult supervision:

• Bathrooms
• Playgrounds
• School Bus Stops
• Hallways

Usually where there is not adult supervision and enough peer support to establish dominance.

Researchers pose that we all participate in a complex dance known as Reciprocal Altruism. This idea says “If I do something to help ‘A,’ then when I need help ‘A’ will help me.” Cooperative acts are reciprocated. This scenario works when someone is sick and needs a ride to the doctor or when someone wants to humiliate their fellow 6th grader and needs the permission of their peer group to garner the full effect. All of our behaviors are contagious and set off a chain reaction with our peers, colleagues, family members, neighbors and fellow citizens. This “tit for tat” logic (as it is known in Game Theory) is enhanced when individuals meet repeatedly over time having more and more opportunities to figure out their place in line.

Once the pecking order is established–either one based on aggression or cooperation–the group works to achieve goals rather than establish dominance, then groups can truly accomplish something such as a service learning project, a team victory, or a true education that will carry them to their highest dreams of accomplishment. This is as true in the chicken yard as it is in the school yard.

Now What?

We have got the roles of Bully, Victim, Bystander and Advocate. We’ve got the scenes where the characters will act out the plot. We’ve got conflict – like any good drama needs. We’ve got motivation – the desire to fit in and gain the most status possible. We all play a role in the power continuum; even the silent witness takes a part. Bearing this in mind, let us look at the interplay in these scenes and see if we recognize anything familiar. Ultimately, let us look at ourselves and see how we participate.

Why?

Victims of bullying seem to be targeted because they are considered to be different from their peers. Children are bullied because they’re less social than their peers, because they wear glasses, have a different body type, eat different things for lunch, or do different things for fun. People can be victimized because they practice a different religion or have a different skin color, have a different sexual orientation or speak a different primary language. This is what we observe on the surface. However, research suggests that people become victims for a much deeper reason, perhaps simply because their peers are trying to use aggression in order to establish themselves in a lead position of the group or to gain status. Can you relate to any of these stories? Try to identify how each victim is being used as a way for the bully to become the lead dog.

Scene “In middle school it’s very important to fit in and not stand out. One of our students who experienced some bullying had autism and some social difficulties. He wore high socks, and in middle school you have to wear low socks. He wore his shirts buttoned all the way up, and he sometimes wore mismatching socks or shoes. His hair was always a mess. There was an incident where another student singled him out and made some references that he was gay and said that he must have body parts of a girl, etc. He humiliated him in front of a large number of peers. In fact, the bully tried to get others to raise their hands if they thought the student was gay.”

Scene “When I was in 3rd grade, I was out on the playground one day, and these girls told me to pull up my shirt. Because my tummy was kind of big, it was mean. So I went to go tell my teacher. They told me to ignore them… I should have stood up for myself.”

Scene “I heard ‘faggot,’ ‘queer,’ ‘homo,’ and ‘gay.’ I felt so bad about myself. Why did people hurt my feelings over and over… the teachers who heard those comments didn’t even acknowledge them.”

Scene “In the lunch room the guy who always picked on me would knock over my stuff or steal my food because I had to sit by myself. The tables were arranged so that only 4 people could sit together. Everybody had a perfectly formed group. I was the odd one out every time.”

Scene “I was a tomboy, and people would bully me about the clothes I wore and sports I played…The main incident happened on the school bus. It was a 45 minute ride to school, and it was fine for the first 10 minutes until this one particular person got on the bus. Then for the next 35 minutes I just had to endure being around her…any minute she could snap and go off on anyone. She was just one of those kinds of people.”

Scene “When I was 11 my girlfriends and I would often agree at school to ride our bikes together to school the following day. Since I lived closest to school, I was the last to be picked up. I would be out front of the house in plenty of time to join the group. I would see them coming up the road straight at me – the lead girl, Bonnie, in the front. A block before they got to me they would turn to the right and take a different route to school. I know they saw me. I rode to school alone more than once. I tried to be a part of the group, and sometimes they’d let me do things with them. But, usually they excluded me. Fortunately we moved the next year, and I got to start all over again – learning to be part of a group of girls.”

Scene “People ignored me most of the time, and almost everybody called me names, because when I got to 3rd grade I gained a lot of weight and I was kind of fat. Then, I farted once in class and that kind of stuck with me throughout the rest of elementary school…like ‘Ah, he’s the farter…What’s that bad smell…ahh,’ …I really didn’t like that too much – especially because the teachers thought I was doing it, too. I got to be really sarcastic about it. If you can’t beat them, join them. At least that way you have a role instead of being the kid that plays with ants every time you go to recess.”
History Repeats Itself:

Students at school are not the only targets for bullies. During our nation’s struggle with racial segregation and Jim Crow laws, African American children and adults were victims of a bullying government and bullying communities. Asheville native, Elinor Earle, shares some of her memories of growing up in a time when bullying by her white peers was totally overlooked and often condoned by the system.

“We’d walk by Pritchard Park and on down Biltmore to get home from school. Well, every time we got down by Sears (now the Department of Social Services), here came the kids from Lee Edwards, [the segregated high school for white students], on the bus with eggs. They’d always throw rotten eggs at us.”

One night some of my friends and I were walking home from the Y (the Phyllis Weatley YWCA that was once on College Street). We walked down Biltmore and the guys were behind us. Somebody threw a bottle out of the car and hit our friend on her jaw – broke her jaw. She fell back in my arms. I caught her, you know…we hollered, ‘They hit Charlotte,’ I’ll never forget it, ‘They hit Charlotte!’…Every night we went past the skating rink, which is now the Orange Peel, we had somebody to fight. And it was like that if you were just walking…even by yourself…You’d be scared to death, because you knew somebody might come down, a group of white kids in a car. I used to stoop down and hide…I guess you might look at me and say, ‘Well, why did you come over here? Why didn’t you just stay at home?’ Because you kind of get used to it…It’s like we knew we had to ride in the back of the bus…It’s something you kind of get used to.”

“Unfortunately, unless you teach your kids to be stronger advocates they won’t act, because they’ll be afraid they’re going to be identified with that kid and be a victim themselves. We must teach them how to stand up, how to be leaders, because about 80% of kids are neither the victim nor the bullies. They’re in between.” – local middle school counselor

Why do people watch bullying and do nothing?

• Fear?
• Confusion?
• Complacency?
• Apathy?
• Support for the Bully?

When we stand by, we give silent permission to bullies. By doing nothing, we could be showing our approval for mistreating others. In this way, the bystander becomes the most dangerous part of the power continuum, giving silent permission for bullying to continue. When does a bystander move on the bullying continuum from a mere observer to an
advocate for the bully?

Many students become bystanders because they do not want to be labeled a “snitch” or “tattle tale,” or are afraid to have the tables turned on them. Motivation is the defining factor in these situations. People who are advocates may inform an authority figure about a situation in order to protect the physical or emotional safety of a victim – not to get the bully in trouble.

It may not even be necessary to tell an adult about a situation. Sometimes, students can handle it themselves. Sometimes, all it takes to stop a behavior is for someone to directly confront the aggressor.

As you read these snippets, the largest role isn’t even mentioned. Like extras hired to stand around to fill up empty spaces in a movie scene, bystanders were present in every one of these situations. Why didn’t they speak up? Why didn’t the bus driver stop and punish the students throwing eggs? Why didn’t someone involve an authority figure? Why didn’t someone stand eye-to-eye with the bully and demand that they stop?

Scene “There was the kid who picked his nose in class, and people were always talking about him and trying to beat him up…”

Scene “I put him in a trashcan and rolled him down the hill…”

Scene “The kids from Lee Edwards would throw rotten eggs at us from the bus…”

Scene “When I was eight years old, a friend of mine and I were walking home from school, and we were stoned by some fellow students who shouted, “Jew, Jew, Jew!”

Scene “He knocked over my food in the lunch room and stepped on my milk carton…he would always throw stuff at me through class…”

“I wish somebody would have taken up for me.”

This ad encourages young citizens to join the youth organizations “You belong to the Fuehrer.”

History Repeats Itself

Local survivor and scholar Walter Ziffer shares some experiences he had as an adolescent in the beginning stages of the Holocaust. Notice the responses of observers.

One of my first experiences with Hitler Youth was around a big park near our house. They came in September which was cold. The park had to be raked. So, the Hitler Youth and the SA picked up Jewish people in the street. They marched us up to the park, and we started raking leaves and cleaning up cigarettes. We raked these things into piles, and then the SA people set fire to the piles. The leaves were moist so there was smoke coming out. These huge flames came up. Then, they had us run through the park and jump over these piles. There were not just young people involved, like myself. There were older people and old people involved. I remember distinctly some of these older people falling into these leaves and catching fire. The Hitler Youth and some SA people stood at these fires laughing while these people were actually burning. Some of us would try to help them out and put out the fires. The grinning and the laughter of the people – that stayed in my mind. It was inhuman. That happened two or three times in September.”

“Just walking down the street became a hazard. Hitler Youth would trip our legs out, and we would fall down. Sometimes they rammed people to the gutters…always the laughter that goes with it – all the people that were standing around were watching this funny thing happen…Imagine a 60 year old person being tripped up by a kid 14 years old.”

“Within the first year of the take-over by the Germans, some of the Jewish people, particularly old people with beards, were actually pulled out of their homes…I remember Hitler Youth and SA just beating these old people and pulling their beards out. Also, they gave old men and women toothbrushes, and they had to clean the sidewalk with the toothbrushes. Again, a number of onlookers were there for whom this was just pure amusement. Basically, they had fun seeing these people tortured.”

Why?

The most important role in battling bullies is the advocate. Bullies are able to mistreat people only if they’re given permission by others around them. If every student had the courage to shut bullies down, they would be forced to move closer to the positive side of the continuum. Sadly, there are few people in schools and communities who accept the challenge of this role. Most surveys dealing with the issue of bullying show that only a tiny percent of students are advocates. Teachers need to be upstanders as well. They need to be aware that bullying occurs in every school, and it’s not “just part of growing up.”

Scene “One teacher pulled me aside and said that no one will make fun of me in this class. I think the world of him to this day.”

Scene “I’m a bully buster…[When I see bullying going on] I say, ‘Hey! What are you doing?’ First they look confused and say, ‘What do you mean?’ Then they stop…Recently at school my friend Leanne was being picked on by some boys in our computer class. I told the computer teacher what they were doing…When teachers don’t do anything about it, I bring them a bullying video. I loan it to them… If a teacher says to ignore a bully, I march out of the room to see the School Resource Officer.”

Scene “I’m a guidance counselor at a middle school. Last year I had some kids who came to me really upset on the behalf of a particular student. He had been repeatedly bullied and humiliated around his peers. He told people he was thinking about killing himself…They were worried about him–about the humiliation he was enduring.”

“The students that came to me were well liked and probably more self assured than the average sixth grade student. One of the girls said, ‘I know you’ve done lessons, and you’ve told people not to bully, and you guys handle it in the office. But what if we did a program? What if we did some teaching?’ I thought it was a really good idea. So, six students who had all shown some leadership in a way that was pro-social agreed to do a program.”

They used a thinking map and did a visual demonstration to show the consequences of bullying. They wore labels like ‘nerd’ and ‘geek’ and they talked about how words can hurt your heart, especially when you hear them repeatedly…They challenged students to be more accepting, to be more tolerant, and to stop calling people names. Then, they challenged the students the following week using a “dress-to-be-different” day to support no name calling. It was very well received…The young man who this program evolved from said repeatedly how much this meant to him and how people did stop calling him names.”

Have you heard of The Golden Rule? It says, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” This social standard for human rights is valued in communities all over the world. Most religions and cultures in the world share this principal:

This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you. Hinduism

Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. – Udana-Varga 5,1 Buddhism

What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. -Talmud, Shabbat 3id Judaism

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12 Christianity

No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself. –Sunnah Islam

And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for thyself. Baha’u’llah.[17][18] Baha’i

Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss Ancient Egyptian: Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do. -The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant Taoism

Do not wrong or hate your neighbor. For it is not he who you wrong, but yourself. – Pima proverb Native American Spirituality

Remember the idea of Reciprocal Altruism? When we stand up for someone, if the tables were turned, we would expect them to do the same for us. We learn that cooperating with one another and helping one another is contagious and can become the norm for a group. Therefore, doing something good for an individual ultimately does something good for the collective.

Jason’s Story

“I was in a McDonalds where a guy I went to school with worked. He is gay and African American. Four guys were ordering food. While they were waiting for their food, they kept calling the guy a ‘faggot’ and a ‘queer.’ I listened to it for a while, thought about it, and said to them, ‘Why don’t you leave him alone? He didn’t do anything to you.’ They told me I better watch my back. They left, and I ordered my food. As I was leaving somebody said, ‘Hey!’ and something was thrown over my head. I was then hit over and over in the head and back. I had a cut on my head that my mom put four steri-stiches on to stop the bleeding…A few weeks later, I found out that the guys who attacked me would be planting flowers near the courthouse as part of their probation for attacking and hurting the guy I was defending…I don’t think that I would have spoken up for my classmate if I had not been part of the Outward Bound Unity Project. The course taught me that it’s wrong to stand by and do nothing when others are being hurt… I knew that I might be hurt physically or emotionally, but I could not stand back and do nothing.”

Bullies

The immediate consequences for a bully can seem glamorous. They may gain the respect of their classmates as a leader and enjoy a group of followers as well as practicing assertiveness, a desirable trait for adults. Some adults who were bullies as children communicate that they have learned appropriate boundaries and are now empathetic and sensitive to the way they treat others.

“The bullying thing in middle school has made me be really careful with how physical I get with people, because I have realized that I can really hurt people when I’m just playing around. I ask people how they feel a lot just to make sure I’m not being damaging.”

Other consequences are less attractive. If a bully is identified by school personnel, they face consequences in the disciplinary system. If the majority of the student group chooses to be pro-social, the bully can also alienate themselves from classmates.

Statistics show that people who were bullies as children or adolescents have a greater chance of academic failure, a greater chance of committing a crime, and experience difficulty in forming positive relationships. Teenage boys who bully are more likely to engage in serious violence and antisocial behavior into adulthood. Bullies are four times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of crimes by age 24, with 60 percent of bullies having at least one criminal conviction.

Victims

People who are targets of bullies may be able to take something positive from their experience like empathy, compassion for others who are mistreated, or resiliency. Some have communicated that they would rather have the role of victim instead of having no role at all — being completely excluded from social interaction. Of course, victims often feel anxious and afraid which can affect concentration or willingness to go to school. In some cases, victims take revenge on their bully, a possibility that has become very real to students in the US since the tragedy in Littleton, CO in 1999. The emotional impact of bullying for a victim can be devastating.
“The slanderous names at school got to me. Many times I got to the point where I pondered suicidal action.” “If a person is told they’re bad or wrong at any age, but especially when you’re a kid, it really deeply penetrates your psyche and can affect the way you interact with the world…If you’re always second-guessing who you are…you’ll have a much tougher time…If I hadn’t been bullied at a young age I think I would have found confidence a lot earlier in my life, and I probably would have felt like I deserved a lot more. If you don’t feel that great about yourself, you’re not going to advocate for yourself. You’re certainly not going to go after things like scholarships or education or jobs. That was my experience.”

Bystanders

There are no immediate personal consequences for a bystander, which may be why people find themselves in that role most often (80%). We’re not putting ourselves at risk or using any energy to respond when we stand by. We’re keeping our distance. Some bystanders have reported that they feel guilt and helplessness as a result of being a bystander. There are also long-term effects on individuals and the community.
If schools fail to take action in a bullying situation, they face serious consequences. In 1999, The US Supreme Court ruled that schools will be held liable for damages to targets of bullying and sexual harassment if they are aware of the situation and do not adequately respond. This ruling falls under Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 on the grounds that it denies victims equal access to education.

Advocates

Advocates practice assertiveness and can gain the respect of their peers as “the hero.” Their actions may shift them into a leadership role that will be more likely to guide the group toward positive goals. It is also likely that an advocates will be perceived as a snitch or become a victim themselves. In some cases, advocates can be in danger of physical harm. These negative consequences may help to explain why so many people refuse to play the role of the advocate. However, we should go back to the Golden Rule and to the idea of Reciprocal Altruism. Human beings and other animals have proven, since the beginning of time, that doing good for others actually benefits everyone. Advocates have a positive, lasting impact on our society as a whole.

When confronted with the power continuum, it is good to take a step back. Is it working for all members of the group? To stop bullying, students, teachers, parents, principals, and community leaders must work together. The responsibility belongs to everyone. Read through the lists of strategies to help everyone function in a more positive environment.

What Can Students Do?

• Become involved in school and community activities that interest you and make friends through those activities. People with groups of friends are less likely to be bullied.
• If you are struggling to make friends, ask an adult for help. They may be able to help you practice some social skills or join a group with similar interests.
• Keep your cool. Hot tempered people are more likely to be bullied.
• Stand up for yourself. Ignoring a bully is not necessarily effective, but neither is violence against them. Be assertive but calm.
• Talk to your teacher, your parents, your school counselor, or another adult you trust if you’re being bullied.
• Invite peers who are alone to join your group of friends at lunch or during social times.
• If you see another student being bullied, do something about it: confront the bully, tell an adult, show your support for the victim.

What Can Teachers Do?

• Acknowledge that bullying may be a problem at your school.
• Don’t ignore bullying behaviors or consider them to be just part of growing up.
• Be aware that bullying may not involve direct aggression that is easily observable. Pay attention to indirect interactions among your students, especially emotional bullying like exclusion.
• Make relationships with your students and have individual conferences with them. Often, students will not approach teachers openly to report a bullying incident.
• Pay attention to who is in a social leadership role. Provide opportunities for that person to lead in a positive way.
• Be present in places at school where students are unsupervised–like hallways, playgrounds, busses.
• Help students find a place to plug in at school. If you notice a student consistently sitting alone or has no friends, guide them to an activity where they can affiliate with peers who have like interests.
• When a child tells you they are being bullied, do something about it. Communicate with your principal and school counselor to seek guidance. Share the information with a parent as well.
• Keep your own weekly log of observations about the changing dynamics of student interaction in your classes and in the hall.
• Be firm and consistent when enforcing consequences for students who are perpetrators.

What Can Parents Do?

• Encourage your child to make friends and to get involved in activities at school and in the community.
• Talk to your child, and be available for them engage you in conversation.
• Model pro-social behaviors for your child.
• Monitor your child’s behavior and whereabouts, including computers and cellphones.
• Provide the most stable environment possible for your child at home.
• Nurture your child’s talents.
• Volunteer to chaperone school activities on occasion.
• Maintain open lines of communication with your child’s teachers.
• Listen to how your child interacts with friends, and redirect them if you hear exclusionary or belittling comments.